Unsent Messages

spent the whole drive home today thinking about how you held me. i don’t remember how i made it back, or how many red lights i almost ran. all i can remember is how your breath felt on my neck, your hands gripping my sweater. suddenly my mind catches up to me here, sitting in the parking lot- about to walk into a house that has never felt like the home for my soul. do you feel the tension between us? ignoring it was hard before, but now it feels impossible. am I making this up? i still remember the way your car use to smell, the songs we listened to. i remember the first time you sent me this ? emoji. am I crazy? felt it years ago, when you took the long way home. am I making things up? idk.

we were probably meant for each other. always been forbidden fruit. or do you treat all of your friends like that? will we ever find out? or will I keep wasting my time. or is this a waste of my time? idk.

writing this feels like an sos. a shot on the dark. do I just feel this way bc I’m unhappy? god I hope you never see this. maybe I hope you do. Idk.

yes this is for you.

and yes.. it’s me.

have you read the world is yours, on a blimp?