I didn’t wanna do this again but I couldn’t stop myself. I don’t know what I want from you. I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t know what I want for myself. I know - or at least I think? - you’re interested in somebody else and everything but I feel stuck. Like I’m caught in this limbo between wanting you and hating you. I’m stuck in the past, like always, holding on to something I’m not sure even exists anymore. I really miss you but I’m too scared to let you in again. Every time I want to get closer I stop myself. I’d rather be alone than ever let myself love you a second time because I don’t want to be forced to get used to your absence again. I’d like to think that you still think of me but I suppose I can’t be sure. Maybe we should talk about things or maybe we should just sit in silence and never acknowledge a single thing. The longer I sit here in silence though, the more these feelings brew and boil over inside of me. A large part of me genuinely hopes you’re reading this because this is the only way I can get myself to reach out. LB