I want to say this once, calmly, so that if things change or drift, it’s not without understanding.



I’ve felt this since a while that the biggest block between us isn’t me or anything I’ve done.. it’s your relationship with yourself. Not trusting yourself, not knowing yourself, and being scared of what clarity might demand from you.



I never believed I could fix that for you. I still don’t. What my feelings for you have always meant is this: I was willing to stand by you while you figured it out not to rush you, not to push you, not to force an outcome.



But that only works if the journey actually begins. What hurts isn’t confusion. What hurts is watching you escape the process when it gets heavy because it’s easier to avoid than to sit with it.



I’ve been holding a lot softening things, adjusting myself, carrying patience, giving space to make it easier for you. And I’m realising my patience isn’t endless.



Please don’t read this as pressure. It’s not. I just want you to understand why I may step back, or detach, or eventually pull the plug not because I stopped caring, but because I can’t keep holding so much alone while nothing moves.



My confessions, my feelings, all of that simply say this: I see you clearly, and I was willing to stay but only if honesty and self-work were part of the journey.



Whatever you choose to do with that is yours



this is my final confession and this one matters deeply.



We once spoke about ending this situation of ours under two conditions:



1. You saying no.



2. Me saying I’ve moved on.





There’s a third condition we never said out loud, but I’ve been offering subconsciously every month.



3. When either of us gets exhausted with the process, we’re allowed to withdraw.



I’ve asked you repeatedly — gently, indirectly if this is getting exhausting for you.

And every time, you’ve said you’re not forcing anything, so it doesn’t feel exhausting.



But the truth is, exhaustion doesn’t always come from force.

Sometimes it comes from stagnation.



For me, the exhaustion doesn’t come from loving you.

It comes from holding too much on my plate to make this easier for you emotionally, mentally and then noticing that you’re not really doing the internal work required to move forward, either for yourself or for us.



I want to be very honest about this:



If I ever step out of this, it won’t be because my feelings disappeared.

I know myself well enough to know that doesn’t happen easily.



If I step back, it will be because staying started costing me too much.



And if you ever decide to take this third option, if you ever feel too drained to continue. I won’t try to change your mind. I don’t believe that’s possible anyway. All I would want to know is this: what progress you made in the months before, and what drained you enough to feel exhausted.



And once you say no, that’s it.

I will never bring this up again.

I will never circle back, push, or eat your head.

I’ve seen how much you dislike people who do that, and I would never want to be that person to you.



This confession isn’t pressure.

It’s not an ultimatum.

It’s not me asking you to choose me.



It’s me being honest about why I can’t keep loving you in fragments anymore.



I don’t need you to be perfect.

I don’t need you to suddenly have everything figured out.

But I need to see movement even slow, imperfect movement towards knowing yourself, trusting yourself, and being transparent while you figure things out.

It won't be easy but I'm willing stand by u, but u should atleast start the journey first or let me in enough to feel safe?



Because when I notice avoidance, when I notice escape, when I notice stagnation that’s when my patience starts hurting instead of healing.



I’m sharing this because I don’t want to drift away silently without you knowing why.

And I don’t want to keep hiding parts of myself in places you may never look.



This is me choosing honesty even if it changes things.



Whatever you decide to do with this, that’s yours.

I’m not asking for a reaction.

Just acknowledgment that you’ve seen me fully.



Ive also noticed this thing I wanted to mention.

I’ve realised that certain playful expressions need the right headspace on both sides.

I don’t always know when that’s the case, and I’d rather not risk misreading the moment.

So I’m choosing to keep that part to myself for now.

We can naturally avoid those topics until things feel clearer and lighter.



I know I overthink and feel things deeply .. I’m not denying that.

I’ve worked on a lot of it, and I still am.



But I’ve also accepted your flaws fully your confusion, your silences, the way you pull back without trying to change you. I stayed because I felt you were worth that patience.

I've accepted a lot of u but I fear if ull be able to do the same



I never feel like with the right person it'll all be easy. It's a myth, it might initially seem so but genuine love stems from willingness to work and embrace each other's differences and without conflics and hard uncomfortable conversations u can genuinely never build smtg very solid, and that's why our differences doesn't scare me coz I love u so much that everything seems workable or fixable but I've never seen u hv that faith.. if not out of love.. atleast when u hv seen how flexible I'm, didn't u once feel that maybe u can adjust too and make it work? We can never find a person who has allll the qualities we want nd to not hv qualities we hate

Everyone will hv flaws rajath and it's upto us which ones we can accept and which r non negotiable... U hv raised concerns abt the person I'm..and idk if the core of me r smtg tats non negotiable for u



U hv always seen me weak...but u hv no idea how strongly I'm capable of standing by u..even if u ever collapse and completely break down or give up, even in the most extreme situations i can vow to stand by u, hold u, love u and not judge u for a second, even if u fail at anything in life my respect for u wouldn't ever be reduce.. my love for u won't flinch coz of financial issues, lack of luxury or living standards..none and I'm not saying this out of delusion, it's coz ik myself enough , ik how I've stood strong at the times of crisis with my family and frnds. It's only this fear of loosing someone I love that has made me this weak at times. But i want a soul connection rajath and i don't care abt anything materialistic ever...I just want ur love that's enough. I'll take care of things when u struggle, I'll hold u tightly if the world's noise is bothering u. I'll protect u.



I love u... I love u so so much.. it's like I'm devoted to u, there's this subconscious moral compass and my conscience that has made me dedicated to u like a life partner...tats how loyal I'm even in my most intrusive thoughts...it's like u r in my veins and this is exactly why it's this exhausting...why detachment or letting go will be the only solution left coz I'm failing to love u in a balanced way..I'm sorry for loving this intensely which is costing so much of me that

..I might fail to give u the time u needed...

I'm trying my best... That's exactly why I'm stopping this confession... I hope with deatchment if u ever end up choosing me I'll do justice to us... Love u lots



Earlier, I held back a lot because I was scared of losing you.

Now I don’t want to do that anymore. I’d rather be honest than keep filtering myself.

I care about you deeply. I just can’t carry this dynamic the same way it is anymore. I hope if someday u feel it, ull know why I chose this.
i would never abandon u, know that 💓