i don't knoww how I am so attached to you. even after all this it's still the same for me i think about you all day like a madman but cannot do anything about it. i don't want to do anything about it I am scared that I'll end up doing smtg again like i always do. I'm helpless i don't even have anyone to tell all this to without being judged except for you. the worst part is you don't look at me like his i look at you. well that's good i feel. i know that you will never read this. but idk doing this makes me feel like I'm talking to you atleast only sad part is that this is so depressing that I need help.