Sometimes I feel like I’m delusional. Like maybe this version of love I have for you will fade someday. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just obsessed or too anxiously attached or if this is all something I built up in my own head. But then I remember how hard some days have been with you and I still chose to stay. I’ve never shown even twenty percent of the patience I’ve shown for you with anyone else in my life. It’s exhausting at times, genuinely exhausting, but something in me kept choosing you. Udk how much ur silence pierces my heart
I sense every slight drift in ur mood but i don't question or try comforting coz I fear u take everything as pressure nd get overwhelmed..
I'm a person who wants to walk by ur side in smallest of ur struggles ( my love language) but ik u r the person who prefers silence nd space to feel safe, not a constant presence ( learnt this is how u wanna be loved ? ) it was so hard to adapt coz I didn't wanna let u face it alone..but i knew u wouldn't let me in either

And I’ll be honest. If I had known I would fall for you this deeply, this steeply, I would’ve backed off long ago. I really would have. I didn’t see this coming. I didn’t see myself going this far. Like I said before, loving you felt safe only because I thought you were unattainable, like someone else’s. I was loving you quietly on the side, telling myself nothing would happen, so it wouldn’t hurt. I didn’t know that if it ever surfaced like this, it would consume me in ways I wasn’t prepared for. I always imagined loving my life partner like this someday after marriage, not in this messy, confusing, terrifying space. Yet here I am.

But I also realised something else. If this has to end someday, I want it to end in a way that feels meaningful, not messy. Not as a situationship or something confusing or something I’ll forever question. I don’t want us to drift apart slowly because things got too heavy or too scary. I don’t want it to fade without ever knowing what it could have been. I want us to at least try once. Properly. With clarity. With honesty. With a little courage on both sides. Even if it fails later, at least I would know that we didn’t end like this, with confusion and fear and silence.

If it’s a no from your side someday, I want it to come after we’ve truly tried. After we gave it a real chance. After we saw what it feels like to be on the same side, actually meeting in the middle instead of circling around the idea of it. I don’t want it to end without meaning, without dignity, without that last bit of honesty we always promised each other.
I want u to drop all ur guards down with me atleast once before deciding a NO


I don’t know if you’ll ever read this.
But if you do, I hope you understand that none of this comes from pressure.
It comes from how deeply all of this mattered to me. And still does.

If it has to end, let it end beautifully.
Not like this.