I don’t think I’ve ever cared about someone this much while saying nothing out loud.

I know you have your own fears, your own guilt, your own way of dealing with things. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I know none of this was intentional.
But still, it did hurt.
And I don’t even know what to do with all of that, so I’m just putting it here.

I never wanted anything big from you ..not a label, not a decision, not clarity on a deadline… just presence. Just small things. Just the feeling that I mattered even a little. Maybe I expected too much, maybe the timing was wrong, maybe you were not ready. I don’t know. I genuinely don’t.

What I do know is I loved you in my own way. Quietly, deeply, consistently. Even when I was scared, shattered myself. Even when you confused me. Even when I didn’t say it directly. I've always tried to protect u, ur sanity and wellbeing over mine.
And I think a part of me still does.

I’m not letting go, I’m not moving on, I’m not pretending I’m fine.
I’m just tired.
And I’m putting this here because I need to put this weight down somewhere.

You were important to me.
You still are.
I just wish things hadn’t become so hard.
I wish u were with me in this fight or process...I feel so alone...I wish we could figure it out together...