Unsent Messages

I feel as though, If you ever actually see this, you'll know who it's from. I think you know much more than you say. I guess it's better left unsaid, for both of us, no matter how badly I've wanted to say something sometimes. I liked you so much for so long. I don't think I feel anything like that towards you anymore, sometimes I feel a slight pull of those old feelings, but I think that's just because I find it so hard to let go of things, of people, of feelings. That's probably why i liked you for so long. I should have just put it behind me, I knew you didn't like girls, I knew it would never work. I probably could have just let it go too, but also I couldn't. And I can't figure out if that was because of you, or my inability to move on from things. I'd imagine you're tired of all this from me, I've already written a song and put it up online, why can't I just leave it alone. I keep thinking about those walks outside with you, the mornings playing music. I taught myself that piece because of you, but the more I played it, in my mind it became more mine than yours, so I don't really play it anymore. I don't want it to mean nothing, I don't want to erase the time I spent up there with you, hearing that piece. Everything felt so possible back then, I convinced myself there was a chance, even if it was small. You would say things, do things that made me hope, but I know now I was just reading into things too much. I'm not sad anymore about it, just sad that we aren't as close as friends now but that's largely my fault I know. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for not letting go sooner, and thank you for putting up with me and for being a really lovely friend. I miss you a lot, I hope I see you soon