Unsent Messages

I really wish that I understood what it is I want from you. Your an amazing person and I know that one day you would make a great boyfriend even husband but it isn't to me. Your my best friend and sometimes I wish I never even meant you. I spent my whole life waiting for you and now that I have you I've come to realize that I don't know what I was waiting for? I have everything and more that I wanted and could ever get from you. Your really good to me but sometimes you get under my skin and really make me uncomfortable or something. Idk... It's confusing but the one thing I do know is amongst all of my bottled up and unknown feelings I don't want you in the way you want me. I don't want anything more than a friendship and the thought of you askiung me out scared me. I might come off as a "I really like you and want to be with you" but truth be told I don't I don't wanna be with you other than a friendship and I know how bad t would hurt you top hear. I'm sorry? I'm sorry that I opened a door just to slam it right back in your face...