Unsent Messages

I can't get you out of my head. So badly had I wished you would've texted me on my birthday. I just wish I didn't have to get you out of my life like I did. I'm not sorry for what I said after I blocked you and you lied to V. Thank you though, because not only did you teach me how to pick out manipulation, you taught me how manipulation can be so fucked up. My brothers manipulative and he's admitted to wanting to kill me. I lost you, V, and A. Why did you all leave. I can't keep treating you like you were the best person in my life, because you weren't. Thank you for attempting to be there for me no matter how bad you sucked at it and never made me feel better, you were still there. I shouldn't have said you sucked at being there for me because that wasn't true because you were there, you just sucked ass at advice or support. The thing that fucked me up the most was that your manipulations and games made me fall in love with you. Like I didn't know what to do when I started admitting that to myself and eventually other people. V probably tried making me seem like a terrible person, which is so terribly fucked up, but some of the things I said were wrong, just because admitting to myself and other people things about you made me feel less in love, even though it really wasn't true and it never helped. I should've stood up for you more often than I did. I'm a different person now so there wouldn't be a slim chance I'd be close with you, V, or A ever again. I have myself and my best friend and thats all I need. It's time for me to move on from you though. If you ever need me though, I stick to me word and I will always be here no matter how upset you still are at me. I still care about and love you. If you knocked on my door and said you needed a place to stay I'd still take you in in a heartbeat. Same goes for A or V. I wish you the best and if you see this and think you know its me, feel free to reach out, but I refuse to get close to you again. I love you.