Unsent Messages

I miss you more than I can ever express in words, yet I hate who you’ve become. Maybe I don’t miss you, maybe I just miss the memories we had. I miss being happy, something that came often when I was around you. I miss who you used to be, but maybe i just hate change. I wish you never moved, and I wish you and I never drifted apart. I wish I loved you harder and I wish I told you I am deeply sorry. I remember those nights stolen from time to time, us wishing and giggling about our future, like we were sure that we would have it together. But now you’re gone. You’re a stranger, one whom I don’t recognize anymore. I don’t hate you like I used to, I understand why we fell apart. I was bitter that you had met other people that had made you smile, and scared I would lose you. And I was so scared, that I did. Let’s just go back to that pumpkin patch in kindergarten and start over again, maybe this time we won’t fly so close to the sun and I’ll have a chance to say goodbye.