Unsent Messages

i don't know if you'll ever come on here and see this, but i know you think you get in the way of my progress but you don't. i miss the random pictures you would send me and asking me if i'm free or if i wanted to do something fun with you. i never said i didn't need you, because i do. i really do need you and it sucks that i need you more than ever but i can't do that to you because i've already hurt you more than enough. i want to believe that you still love me and that you still miss me but i can't because im scared that im just going to end up hurting you again. i ruined relationships for you and i don't want to ruin things for you anymore.
i don't want to hurt you anymore so i'll stay out of your way. i'm too scared to reach out and be friends again. i don't want you to think that im back to make things worse for you. im sorry. i miss you... i really do.
i know you probably lost feelings but im still really in love with you and it's hard for me to let you go because you saved me and you became a huge part of my life. you're my first love, my first kiss and my first everything. i just want to believe that i'm special to you too. im scared that you'll forget about me and the memories we've made. i'm so scared.