Hii Sonja,
I just wanted to say. You first loved yourself. When you were younger and filled with light and joy in your eyes. It might've not lasted for long and hopefully you find it again. You used to enjoy so many things, art, reading, writing, dressing up, seeing how wide you could smile until you couldn't see, and so much more. You may feel like a shell of who you once were, but she's still there. She'll always be there. You will find yourself again. You will fall in love with your eyes again. You will dance in the rain again. You just need to wait.
-Sonja, your future self (who is trying to love herself again)