Unsent Messages

I know how cold hearted and unapproachable I seem. And I know I can be dense sometimes. But you're my weakness. Always have been. I say to myself im over you, I'm over the wasted potential that we had, but it does keep me up at night. Do you ever think about what we could have been? If I wasn't so weak? We don't say much to each other asides from the daily ”how are you?” or ”what did you do today?” but I know deep down you knew. You knew that it wasn't gonna work but don't want to confront me about it. I've always liked that about you, how you care about your relationship with other people and how your actions may affect it. You've always been so kind. I wish you had more confidence, I know, easier said than done, but you're genuine about everything. That's what made you stand out from the rest. I hate myself for closing myself up, for not showing you how much I deeply care about you, but whenever I try to you push me away. I was stuck. I thought: you didn't need me, right? So what am I doing here still? I'm wasting your time and everybody’s time. Like beating a dead horse. It's not like you have to talk to me. We have nothing In common aside from the fact that we're both total introverts who like RnB music and cats. Other than that, what else? What else is there? Do you know how it feels like to know you're not wanted there? You can be so mean sometimes. I thought I'd forgotten it, but now that Christmas is coming up it made me think about you. And I probably will for a while. I stopped wishing you think about me too. But deep down I wish you do.