I don’t think I truly know anything.
No seriously! I’m never sure about anything.
What am I doing? I’ve been faking it for years.
Do I love you? Should I love you? I don’t care.
Yes I do.
I’ve been trying to not think about it for over a year. How pathetic is that?
I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I keep on trying to distract myself from what’s going on. But I can’t.
It always catches up to me.
Like when I don’t do my homework because I’m an idiot.
I’ll never make it anywhere. How the fuck would an idiot become successful?
My life isn’t even bad. Like at all. I have so much.
I love, I laugh, I cry, and I feel.
Yet, I always find a way to fuck it up.
Why can’t I take my own fucking advice and go to fucking therapy.
Please stop. please.
Why is time moving so fast all of a sudden?
I need to make decisions.
About my future, about my feelings, and about you.
I can’t be stuck in this anymore.
Not like I totally know what ‘this’ entails, or even what it means.
I still need to get the fuck out of here.
I need to see something.
But I’ve never been more unsure on what I can do.
I wish I had a fucking ounce of understanding, so I can finally make a decision.
What if I’m missing it all?
I don’t know.
I guess I never will.
I love you.
I wish I didn’t. You’re not real.
It’s just the idea of you.
Fuck you.
You’ve done nothing good for me.
I cannot stand you.
Yet, I always check to see if you replied. Or I always look out for your car while I'm driving near your house.I It’s sickening.
I hate you.
I’ve been so stagnant for so long.
I want to know how to live.