i loved you and needed you in my life, then i hated you and never wanted you back. i don’t hate you or love you anymore. i don’t know how i feel. i’m not ignoring all the toxicity, but i’m not in constant anger because of all the ways you’ve ruined me. i’ve done a lot of research on BPD and am just honestly disappointed in how it all ended up. i don’t know if we’ll ever talk again. i’m scared you’re my soulmate. that’s really my core fear. i wonder if part of you still thinks we are.