Unsent Messages

why haven't you tried reaching out? why did you lie? i was hoping this time we could make things right. ive waited for you for so long just for you to come back and disappoint me again? do you realise how much i love you? every time you would mess up i would try to understand it from your point of view. i just want you to love me. i think you are my first love even though i've had a bf before you but i don't feel the same about him the same way i feel about you. you'll always be in my heart even if you hate me, i'll still love you. i know everyone has told me to move on and that i deserve better but i want you to be better so that we can be together. i know i'm hurting myself by holding on but there is no way of letting you go. how are you able to do it so easily? messing and hooking up with other girls while i'm at home worried about you. i want to believe that you are my soulmate so please be better. i'll always forgive you. no one's felt like you, i've been waiting for you for over a year but you don't even realise that. when will you mature. i really don't want anyone else. if it's not me with you then it's no one else. i miss our late night calls where we just talk about random things. why did you have to go and lie, you know i would always forgive you. i love you so much but i can't stand myself being so weak. why do you always win the end? i don't think i'll be moving on for a long time. i miss you everyday and you seem fine without me. can't you see all the hurt you've put me through why are u so cruel. i'm so sick of staying up late crying and thinking about you. i know someone else better out there deserves me but if i had an option i'd always choose you. it feels like home with you, idk why am i doing this to myself. why am i so attached to you?