Unsent Messages

u dont hv to even respond to this im just praying u see it tho.

i'm so blunt with people sometimes and i don't think about what i say before i say it. i made a huge mistake. just hear me out okay? a huge part of me only said that because i wanted u to get jealous and still care abt my guy friends, if u don't believe me tho:

one of alex's friends texted me and told me some really nice stuff he had said about me and i just thought that some stuff he said was really really nice. i only started to think he was kinda a tiny bit cute the very last time we hung out. even then he didn't even come close to u. i was being a huge hypocrite, but u told me i could hang out with him alone. i told u that u could hang out with your girl friends alone too. it was all just kinda going downhill for us and i built up in my mind that u had feelings for somebody who wasn't me even though that's not true. i also tried to convince myself that because he was nice, into me and popular that i should think he's cute.. just about a week before we met, me and alex were in the loft watching a movie when he looked at me and told me he wanted to date me. u know what i said? i said nothing. he asked what i thought and i told him i wasn't ready for a relationship.. the next week i asked u for your snap and had u over. after we started hanging out together i went so long before seeing him again. i do not want to be with alex. i never wanted to be with alex. i had so many chances to be with him, but i never took any of them because i loved u. hell even before i met u i didn't wanna be with him. i only ever wanted to be with u. i know you're pissed because i think the last thing u said before u blocked me was fuck u, but i don't care. sure it hurt but u could ask me for advice on how to ask out ella and i'd tell u. literally call me every bad name in the book and i'd just be happy to have u in my life. no matter what u do, you're always going to have a piece of my heart. i'm sorry and i hope we can be friends again someday. i'm so sorry. hope u see this and it changes yr mind at least just a little bit