Unsent Messages

ou’re a mess made up of absurd things. A tangle of complexities. I know that and with that thought in mind, I would still shout from across the street, “I love you” ignoring the crowd between us.

And I used to think I fell in love by habit, but now because of you, I have realized it’s a choice.

Because a tangle of complexities you are. A mess of absurd things, you are. The most peculiar person I have ever met. The most peculiar person that my heart decided on.

And I’ve always found it strange, and even annoying how I can’t give you a simple gift without you returning something twice as much.

And I know you get scared when you see others provide something you can’t. You keep pouring and pouring till you yourself are left parched and empty. And once you’re so void, you go into hiding. And you could go away for hours and hours, but still come back. A cycle that I know that if I wait enough you’ll turn around and be your bright self again.

Because I’ve always loved your vulnerable state. I found it the prettiest. How strange it is for someone to seem so strong in their own feet against any complication, just to fall apart. Your flaws and past that you open up to me may seem like it's not that important, but it is.

Because let me tell you that I too could be the most complex mess sometimes.. I too could hide away for hours or days. My past and flaws could keep me from not loving you enough some days or just completely shut myself.

But I’ll always come back to my bright self again and love you unconditionally. That’s why if I could fall in love with you again, I wouldn't. I don't just wanna love you. You’re too complex and a mess of absurd things to be that simple. I wanna grow into you. Learn your past and flaws and vulnerabilities. I want you to cry when it's just the two of us in a dark room without feeling like I’ll run away.

I'll keep running along your side till we're both parched and become an even bigger absurd mess and complexities.