i miss u more than u could ever know. i always wonder what happened. i haven't stopped wondering. part of me genuinely hopes u see this and that u'd text or call. i've never really addressed or dealt with when u left. with anyone. and i get that u left for ur own personal reasons, but u were my best fucking friend. i stayed for u. i stayed here for u. and i didnt even get a goodbye or even a fucking explanation. i dont know whether or not i'm mad. my perception of u goes from perfection and idolization to evil in a matter of minutes. it's been 5 months since u left. not a day goes by i don't think of u. i still love u. i think. i dont want to make this long winded so ultimately, i hope u've recovered.