Unsent Messages

We are all really toxic towards each other none of us know each other we basically just live under the same roof. To my parents specifically im grateful that you gave me everything i needed except for a daughter-parent relationship. We never built a bond of trust I couldn’t even imagine telling either of you how i feel or have felt both of you are terrible at connecting with your daughters you take care of them from a far and never really got involved in our lives . This lack of emotional support has lead me to rely on no other than myself and has caused me to invalidate my emotions which is a huge problem considering that i suffer from anxiety and depression although being self reliant and you not being present in my life has made me the mature person that i am today. I have learned to not rely on others for acceptance etc. But i have to admit it hurts that I don’t anyone to talk to not even my own parents or friends cause I’ve always had a hard time opening up since i had to build a tough layer to protect myself from the lack of personal and loving parent child relationship i never had. I still love you but you have to fix your communications issues. Im about to graduate and i plan on studying far from home , i hope i cam find people that teach me that i can be loved. Im really looking forward to leaving home or in this case the house since we are all more like roommates rather than a family.