Unsent Messages

i'm sorry i didn't realize sooner. i'm sorry i didn't see how terribly we effected one another. i miss you every day. i've tried making myself hate you, but i can't. i can't hate the person who showed me my identity, i can't hate the only person who stayed for five long years. you shot me down twice in that time period, but i was still happy to have you as a friend. i'm sorry our last ever conversation was me begging for you to stay; you deserved a real goodbye and a genuine thank you. we will never be as close as we were ever again, and a part of me is okay with that. a part of me longs to hear you call me honey again, it longs for the connection we once had. ever since then, i've been getting better. i've worked on myself. i've been helping others who have gone through situations like mine, and i want to thank you for giving me the heart to do so. i hope that sometime in the future we can be friends without hurting each other. i hope you're doing well.