Unsent Messages

To the boy who I can never confess my feelings for. To say my first love, even though you never loved me back. I mean how can I blame you, you probably never knew. But admitting my feelings weren't allowed to be told, since you fell for her. Idk if you remember this but one day in history i had my head down, and was really upset. But when I lift my head I see you looking at me , in my point of view you looked worried. Which is a memory I will always hold. Whenever I have serious feelings and then no one could have found out. I would always lie , like with you I told you I had feelings for one of your friends, but in reality I was hiding the fact that i was upset. I thought you were different but they never are. They always go for the beautiful girls, the ones who I can't compete with. But of course my dreams were crushed when you asked her out, and I had to sit through yours's conversations. It hurt to see you slowly fade away. From when you guys broke up, cause she still had those feelings for her first love. I thought we would still be friends but you quickly disappeared. Maybe from the fact that you were hurt, and I understand but that hurt , you were doing so good and I remember looking at your seat and it being empty and you not being there. That experience is something I will never forget, we still talked after that but it's not the same. An it's been a year and sometimes I look back at the messages to smile, but then remember I never got to confess my feelings for you. Well if you ever see this which you probably won't. I loved you , and you hurt me a lot and I won't forget it. I still want to text you to see how you are but I think you wouldn't like that . But I hope you are safe and I will always believe in you , work hard.