Unsent Messages

I saw something today that really put things into perspective for me. “Why would you want someone in your life who constantly leaves you feeling confused. Someone who ghosts you, who isn’t there for you, someone who doesn’t prioritize you.” It made me realize... I never asked for a lot. I never asked you to go out of your way for me, all I wanted was for you to be there for me when I needed you. To check up on me the way I always did for you. But you made me feel like I wasn’t even worthy of those simple things. You made me feel like a burden each and every time I reached out to you. It never mattered to me that we weren’t together anymore, because I was always there for you when you called and said you needed someone. How come when I opened up to say I needed you, you brushed me off and took hours to respond back and then proceeded to never message me again. That’s what hurt me most. The fact that you stopped talking to me the moment you didn’t need me anymore and I was left to pick up the pieces once again. Sometimes I wonder if you’re SO dense to not realize how your actions have affected me or if you simply do not care. I wish I hated you, I wish the love I have for you could turn cold the way yours did when you stopped caring about me, I wish I didn’t think about you every waking moment, I wish everything didn’t remind me of you and I wish you weren’t my last thought because I’ve grown tired. I’ve grown tired of loving someone who can’t seem to show me the bare minimum who can’t simply just explain what they want from me instead of coming in and out of my life when you feel like it. I’ve grown tired. I deserved better than the way you treated me. & I hope one day you realize it. But by then I know it will be too late.