this will be long. but it's everything i've ever wanted to say. i hope you miss me. because i know i miss you. i miss when you would just look at me, and smile. i miss when you begged me not to leave you. we both knew i never would. i miss the way your face used to light up when you saw me. you'd keep me in your arms forever ben. and i was never tired of it for a second. but when i wasn't with you it felt like my world was crumbling. you really were my first love. my first everything, almost. but i was just a page in your book i think. you lied to me. about so many things. and i trusted you with everything in me. i gave everything i had for you. and it was never enough. i wish it was. but i also wish i never met you. because months later, i miss you. you never leave my head. and i just want you back. but it won't happen. and that's what hurts the most. because nobody else is you. and you moved on so fast. but i wasn't ready to. i just want to be in your arms again, for hours. to spend another day with you, and just tell you i love you. because i do. i love you. so much. but i wish we never met.