Unsent Messages

Sven...
You aren't worth the time and effort I am putting into this, You really aren't. Because I have not loved You for long, I have not loved You as much as I thought I should have, I have not loved You at all... We have talked, and we have stopped talking. We have exchanged Heys and Goodbyes, we connected and then disconnected, seemingly just as easily. You didn't break my Heart, I cannot give You that much praise, for I am Strong, Unbreakable. Your bravado intruiged me in ways i could not explain, the layer of your mind that made You special, that swirled with mine and refused to unfurle from it. You gave me so many smiles, laughs, for which I am thankful. But they didn't last, for You have then taken them away. I did see You with her, with the one who knew so much of my Soul, with the one who I have spent so many minutes with. And when I look at her, I see no Hate, nor do I feel any Hate. I feel Jealousy, and She is a nasty poison to live with, but it is not within her, it is within me. I am holding the power of Jealousy, but I am not wielding it, I am meerely a weapon for Her, and She is using me to make our lives miserable. I wouldn't let that happen... So I gave You to her. I got and I had, I had and I gave, I gave and I lost. My Heart did not break, it did not, it had beaten, and kept beating, and could not be stopped. For it gives me life, it gives my blood the courage to bleed through me, but not through Me, and that is why it did not break, for it isn't what i felt with, it is a neccesity for life, but not for love. No, I loved You with my brain and that is why i have not loved You at all.