Unsent Messages

I used to get butterflies thinking about you. Every time I would see your name come up on my phone I would get so excited. I thought you were the one. I remember when we very first starting talking back in June. I loved talking to you even playing video games with you. Hearing your voice, laughing at the jokes I would say. You made my life my world a happier place until you didn’t. Until you stopped answering me, until you starting becoming so dry to the point where I wanted to stop. I remember the first night I cried over you. It was around 10:30-11:00, I was looking out my window at the stars, listening to music, thinking of you, only you, the life we both could of had. I was thinking until I become so numb but sad all at once. It hit me. I cried not hard but I cried over you. Over you. You made me depressed all over again. You brought me up for air so I could breathe but then pushed me back down until I was drowning. I layed and cried. I thought we could of been end game. But clearly the vision you had was different. I remember falling hard for you. I think it was when you went away and you stayed up till 2am talking to me, keeping me up. I loved texting you. Even if it was about the dumbest shit. I wanted to write you a letter telling you how much I loved you. I really did. But when I did you threw it out. I told you I liked you and you turned me down in the nicest way possible. Saying I’m not ready but I know you were. That hit me so hard, I was torn. I hated you. You ruined me into a thousand pieces. Leaving me to put it back together. After that i fell back into a hole of depression. I was numb thinking about you. But I’ve seen you’ve moved on found someone else. Who you’d rather and you know what you deserve it. It isn’t me it will never be me but maybe in another universe it is me. I hope it is. I will never be over you. I know we are young and dumb but I loved you and I always will. I hope your time with me was good ,amazing, fantastic i don’t care. I hope she treats you well. I hope she stays up still 2am. I hope she is there for you when your crying over your life falling. I hope she’s there for your best moments. I hope she plays video games with you and makes you laugh until you are grasping for air. I hope she’s better than me. I’m sorry I wasn’t the one. Remember that one time we played Fortnite and you died straight away and I was alive you were watching me, while eating your favourite food. Laughing at me making fun of me making me and laughing. Remember that. I do so clearly, it makes me numb and sad and happy and angry thinking about about it. It fills me up but then makes me drown. I hope she’s your fist kiss, the girl you love being around the girl that makes you feel like your on top of your world when your together, I hope she is I do. It was always you for me but not for you. You deserve her.

It’s you wil who I loved it was always you

I love you until the ends of the earth and until I die

I love you

Love your dearest Charlotte