Unsent Messages

If you ever come upon this, I wonder what name you’d search under. I like to ask myself why I liked you so much, like what it was that set alarms off in my head? I still couldn’t say. At the end of the day you’re a closed off alcoholic with an unwarranted amount of false kindness. If you just saw me as a kid you shouldn’t have sent me that stupid text after the Christmas party. You shouldn’t have sent me your address on thanksgiving, and you shouldn’t have answered when I called you drunk on my 21st birthday. Why even give me attention or make the little jokes. It may have been funny for you but you were the first person I felt anything for in three years. It was like I suddenly had someone who made the days pass with new emotions. I felt my heart in my chest again. I just feel stupid now, and I can’t begin to say how quickly I’m going to distance myself and get away. You shouldn’t have slept with your best friend’s girlfriend, you can’t take those things back. You sure as hell can’t take back rubbing it in his face. He didn’t deserve that. I guess I wasn’t thin or coked out enough for someone like you.