i found out bad news today, i'm going to be losing my best friend soon and we're not sure how long they've got. my first instinct was to tell you, then it hurt because i remembered that we don't speak anymore, all i wanted was for you to hug me and tell me it was going to be okay like you used to. its been 7 months since we last saw each other and i still don't believe it unless it comes from your mouth. I really wish you were here at times like this, even after everything that happened. after every day that i've spent learning to love myself and be happy on my own, it's still you i want to hear from when everything goes bad. i wonder when it'll stop, i'm sure you don't even think of me at all. but you're still the only person i want to hug me and see me cry. i miss you more than life itself and i will for the rest of my days
yours always, j