Unsent Messages

do you believe in the universe? i'm constantly seeing things that remind me of you, whether i want to or not. i know it's been a few years and we've both changed, but i still want you. i want to be the girl you facetime, call, text, play video games with - whatever it may be. i just want to be yours. i never got any closure with knowing if you liked me back, but i felt like you did. you used to compliment me and laugh with me, was i just a person you sat next to in class? who you only spoke to because you were stuck there? you made me look forward to every day. i messaged you last year, you could not have had drier responses. do you just want to forget about me? we saw each other in august, briefly across the street. i heard a loud sigh and we locked eyes for barely even a second. i don't think you looked back. was i not worth a wave? or a hi?

i'm sorry for still not being over you, i don't know if i ever will be. every time i check my story you're always the first or second viewer; it gives me a glimmer of hope that you still remember me. you don't follow many of the people we went to school with, even some of the ones you're friends with now - why? you still follow me despite us going our separate ways. i don't know if i ever want you to see what i've written. i just wish you'd either message me again or just block me altogether. i just wanna know if this feeling goes both ways. i doubt you'll see this and i highly doubt you'll know it's me. i can't get you out of my mind.

i can't move on, not until i know for sure what you feel.