Unsent Messages

i love you so much. you helped me grow as a person and i dont know how i can thank you for it. ive been so happy ever since ive met you. without you i wouldnt be as strong as i am right now. you truly helped me become so much better. im not as depressed anymore thanks to you and i cant thank you enough. i know you arent here anymore, i miss you. its been almost three years without you and every time this year you always cross my mind. ive never forgotten about you, i will never forget about you. i always wonder how life wouldve been if you were still here, i wonder if i wouldve became someone different. i wonder if you passing away was a sign for me to become stronger. no you didnt die for me of course, but your death has changed my life completely. we moved from boston, i explored my sexuality (you were right, i am gay), i opened up and become true to myself. i always keep small things that remind me of you, today i bought a strawberry hat because you love strawberries. i got into kpop because you loved it so much and literally wouldnt shut the fuck up about it, and now i cant shut the fuck up about it. i still have chubby, she sleeps on my bed everyday, i hug her thinking of you. i left the sticker you put on her foot and look at it whenever i think of you. i miss you baby, i know you are doing so much better right now.