Unsent Messages

This says to type as if it were a text message but I could type a whole book of things I would tell you. I used to keep track of the days we didn't talk and hope that one day i wouldn't have to count anymore. But that day never came and soon months turned into years. I don't exactly remember how many years we haven't talked, maybe 6? 7? Sometimes I forget about you. Then every once in a while, I see something that reminds me of you. Victoria's Secret perfume. A yellow door. An American Eagle jacket. It's crazy to think we went through so much just to not know each other now. I wish we could talk. If only for a couple minutes. I believe my life would have turned out much diffrent if I could have had you in my life. You made me want to accomplish my dreams. You pushed me to get up in the mornings. Something that has been a struggle since. You always did believe in me. For that I will be forever grateful. I'm not sure what you're doing in life now, I hope you're still in college. You were always super smart. I remember you said you wanted to be a psychologist. I've talked to your grandpa twice a week for a while now. Two months I think. He doesn't talked about you but I kinda wish he would. At least to tell me how you're doing but I think he's too scared to. I used to talk to him about how much I cared for you. I wish things could go back to how they were. I know they can't. But it's a nice thought. And if for whatever reason you find this...no you didn't lol. And I hope you know I'm sorry for how we ended and how I was.