Unsent Messages

Hello! It's me, again, this is the second part of the letter, from the bible rather haha.
It's crazy to think how one person can change your life when they step into it. They make it bright, colorful, they make you happy. But then all those good times turn into memories when that person leaves, it's like a forever rain cloud hovering over your head 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This is how I feel right now. He is happier now that I am not in his life, but I wish it was so when I was there. Was it funny to know that I liked him and that he didn't do anything about it? Probably yes. It's like when you are afraid of something. Have you ever wondered what it's like to have a crush on you? Well, it's crazy, since I had to stay away because you made me nervous, you made me blush to the extreme, but there was a part of me that wanted to get closer to you. Enough so that maybe I was no longer afraid of you. And for some, fear turns to anger, sometimes tears, and most of the time it turns into something I never thought I would ever feel; love. Fear turns into love so fast it's crazy. It's like they chase you until you run out of breath and can't go any further, so you turn around and see what's coming after you. You get confused with yourself and what you see, but in the end the only thing you are running from is yourself. You run away from your own feelings and emotions, and when all is said and done, you find yourself stopping, turning around, and returning to the fear you once felt for a certain person. In short, it is horrible but surprising at the same time. This is how I felt about you. And you will always be in my heart, because having you by my side I could not. I actually cared about you. I stayed when everyone told me to leave, when they told me you didn't care and I kept chasing you, it only made your ego higher and your pride lower. I loved you even when you gave me reasons not to. It was my fault for insisting on someone I didn't love. When you are in love, you do whatever it takes to be with that person, even if they treat you like trash.

Do you have any idea how bad it feels to have your feelings made fun of? I hope you never get that damn feeling, it's horrible. It is that moment when you feel alone as fun and / or entertainment for that special person. I hope they never hurt you like that.

Some days I couldn't stop thinking about you, and other days I wondered why I was wasting my time on you.
Imagine, every night writing something nice to you in your chat, without sending it, and instantly deleting the whole message, knowing that you won't mind, that's how it has been all this time, and although also, I don't know why I keep doing this, no it has a case, but good.
I think you took the other letter wrong, at no time would I dare to call you "stupid", I would have no reason to do so, sorry if you interpreted it that way.
Do you know what is curious? That I see you almost daily, because we live relatively close, apart from seeing you at school, I see you on the street, either when I go out to train and you hardly go for the tortillas or something else, or when I return from training and you you're out for a reason. The most epic thing is that we have a family relationship of friends haha. Something complicated to understand, I know, but later you will realize what I am talking about.

You were like my model, what inspired me the most to draw.

You have to let go of who never wanted to be. I'm not asking you to love me in return, but I need to vent, even though words aren't everything. The saddest thing is that you can get to love someone so much and still be wrong. And how you will have realized, I will be very quiet but I have a lot on my mind to express.

Do you know what is the worst of all? You took a big part of me. Why? Slowly I let myself modify, A.V. slowly disappeared, to become something you wanted, and you managed to take my being. But as I got over it, I recovered it, it was really very difficult but now I can say that I did it.