Unsent Messages

I doubt you'll ever read this you probably hate me all things considered since it was a messy end to our friendship. I figured its time to let it all out if you ever do find this. Please know that I truly did love you, you were my best friend practically my sister and I wanted nothing but the best for you I still do. However at the time you needed me I was in a really dark place myself and wasnt coming out of it. I talked to my friend Austin who you didnt really know but had heard of and told him all about how the drama was affecting my mental health and how I wanted to disappear. Something I never told you was that in the months that you were gone all those years ago I had planned to take my life. I was so miserable and my homelife was a wreck and i was always stressed out between school, choir, clubs and drama it felt like i had no time for myself. I never meant to hurt you but when I tried to end things in a polite manner you said alot of hurtful things and it made me realize that I didnt want that in my life and i still wished you the best. As days went on I began to find out more lies you had told me and heard more about how you had treated people when I wasnt around. When I found out about you trying to "test my loyalty to you" with another one of our friends thats when i knew something was up. I was concerned for you for your emotions and your safety but you tried to turn it into me being a terrible person for caring. I never once complained when you put me in extremely uncomfortable situations and triggered more anxiety attacks than i can count. I always had your back however overtime your actions spoke louder than your words. I have blocked you on everything and now fear when a random number contacts me even when its one of my students. youre the reason why i have a policy in place so I know its my students contacting me. with the constant messages and calls from various numbers that i now have david screen for me so i can block them its all become too much. while there was once a time that i hoped we would reunite as friends its now to the point that i hope you recieve help. I still wish you the best.