Unsent Messages

hi bebe.i know you’ll never read this so i guess i’ll just type everything out.i miss you,a lot.but i don’t miss the way you treated me sometimes.i deserved better and you knew that.i want things to go back to how they were,so bad.but it isn’t that simple.you won’t let your feelings in and that hurts but i’d never want someone to force me to expose my raw hurt emotions,so it isn’t fair of me to ask you to do that.i wanna go back,go back to when you first said i loved you and how happy that made me.i couldn’t stop smiling,you made me smile a lot..and cry too.i have to remember those parts too.but they don’t phase me because i’ve already forgiven you for all of that.i just want my bebe back but i don’t think that’s possible anymore.i keep wishing and hoping but i think i’m running out of it.i never want to stop but i know my heart will have to eventually if you never want me back. your eyes,God your eyes get me all the time.the gateway to the soul they say.i know your soul and heart,even the scarier parts.but i believe in your heart and who you want to be.i hold onto that version instead of the version you’ve showed me for the past month.i don’t know if we will ever be together again but i know a part of me will always be able to come back to you in a heartbeat.thats the thing,you know my heart too and everything about me.you know i don’t give up but lately it feels like i need to give up because i’m not getting any signs of hope.i feel like i’ve seen small glimpses but i fr can’t tell if they were real or not.i miss your hand in mine, not like how they are now,but when my hands were only meant for yours and yours were only meant for mine.im sorry my love wasn’t enough for you and you felt like you had to go find it in other girls.that hurt a lot.but you said they meant nothing to you and i believe you bc you’re broken inside and you were trying to find a connection with a girl and you’d rather show and give love then truly and actually receive it because that’s when you get hurt.so if by some crazy reason you happen to read this,then i ask one thing of you.if you miss me too and wanna think abt the possibility abt being vulnerable again and exploring what you actually feel for me,then ask me to go star gazing.you know how i love the stars and always chase them.so tell me you wanna chase them with me.