Unsent Messages

you broke me but also forced me to find myself. im happy with how I am now, but you're always at the back of my mind. I don't know why I liked you so much. I trusted you, I told you all my problems and you were my best friend. but then you fucked it up and we started dating. sometimes I find myself wondering if we would still be friends if you never told me you liked me. honestly, I think you only were interested in me to get back at her. I was always the second choice. no matter what I do, you always pop up in my mind occasionally. I think I subconsciously try finding you in every guy I talk to. ever since you, I haven't been able to truly care for a boy like I did you. I've become heartless in that department and I just hope one day I'll find someone that will truly make me happy and never make me the second choice. because it sucks. no one should have to get used to that, but I did. we were young when we dated. too young and I didn't know what a relationship was supposed to be. I think it would have been better if it was now. I kind of wish we were still friends. I wonder what our friendship would have been like now. I think I miss you sometimes. but don't get me wrong, I haven't suffered this whole time. I'm fine now and I learned and grew. no one knows any of this. not even my closest friends. and I'll always plan on keeping it that way.