Unsent Messages

sometimes i hate you so much it takes over me. other times i just want to feel ur touch. i miss u and everything we had once. why did u have to ruin it? why did u have to ruin me? why did u fall for someone else and leave me although u said that u never would. was our whole relationship just a way for you to pass time? in 4 years are u gonna look back on us and see me as a distant middle school and high school memory? why does this hurt so bad? why am i not over you? when we were in love it was overwhelming and fleeting. i would do anything for that feeling again. ive loved you since i was 12 and that isnt going to change. i wish it didnt change for you. god i miss u sm. and i know u closed the door on us, but i still have hope, but hope breeds eternal misery. so am i just doomed to be miserable for the rest of my life because i’ll always have hope that the boy i love will love me again? maybe in two years or four or ten it will be us against the world again. i truly believe that we will find our way back even tho that’s foolish. god i love u sebastian.