Unsent Messages

I love you more than anything I know I haven't said this to you in person yet but that doesn't really matter. I'm scared of losing you, someone who makes me just feel so safe, the thing is and I'm so sorry but I don't think I’m into guys and I know this is a bit of a problem because of how long we have been dating and yeah I should break it off if I feel this way but the thought of losing you as a person makes me tear up, for fucks sake it’s already happening. I love you to the moon and back and I feel that when I come clean to you about my sexuality you’ll want nothing to do with me. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if you never wanted to talk to me again. Your my twin flame you’ve changed my life so much in little ways that make it bearable for me to keep going like when you heald me in your arms while I was sobbing, you stroked my hair held me tight and assured me that it’ll get better, it won’t but you bring so much positivity and light into my life I don’t know what I would do without you. So that’s, why it pains me knowing I’ll have to come clean eventually and you’ll probably want nothing to do with me ever again because of how long I’ve led you on for I’m worried it’ll crush you emotionally and I’m sorry in advance, I’ll tell you when the time is right what’s going on with me. I am so fucking sorry I’ve done this to you it’s selfish I know but my parents already don’t love me as it is, so I can’t risk losing another person who supposed to love me for me. I’m sorry bubs I really am but if you ever see this please know I love you I always will even if you’ll hate me after I come clean about everything. I’m so sorry Alex you mean the world to me but please understand why I didn’t tell you earlier because the thought of losing you is worse than anything else…

I’m so fucking sorry I love you bubs