Unsent Messages

I cannot seem to find the right words when it comes to describing how I feel. I just want to scream at the top of lungs about how much I wish you were mine, I know we could never be a thing as you have told me many times before but I have never loved someone as much as I love you. It hurts me to see you so happy with him, maybe if you weren’t so afraid of what could happen between us you would discover how fucking great I am. I didn’t understand why you would keep going back to someone who used and cheated on you, until I realised I do the exact same thing with you. No matter how many sleepless night I spent crying over you or how many times I wish I was good enough for you I still go back to you. It’s not fair that everyone gets their partner easy without having to put up fight, I just fucking wished you weren’t afraid to be with another girl. I wish people would normalise the fact that two girls can love each other! We could be so happy with each other yet you let fear stand in the way. I have decided that as I’m going into the new year that I’m not going to continue fighting for you, I shouldn’t have to put myself through that pain just because I love you and you don’t love me back. I hope you have a good life Caitlyn and I will continue to support you as a friend but I’m not going to be around when you finally realise how fucking lucky you would be to have me as your girlfriend.