Unsent Messages

i really thought you were the one. we were together for a year, we were fully content and we never had any bad days. what we had was the ideal dream relationship. we said i love you at least ten times an hour, we told each other everything. why such the bitter, sour end? you knew i trusted you and still you pushed me away and hurt me. i can't believe that i was stupid enough to believe your excuses for not replying to me. how lucky those random guys were for getting more attention than me. you cheated on me and blamed it on my lack of effort to see you. then you snapped at me for quickly getting over you. you gave me nothing for the last four months of our relationship. i bet we went on that break just so you wouldn't feel guilty about kissing someone else. fuck. you did all of this and still i love you i miss you i cry over you i answer your every call and text. next month will be a full year since you broke up with me. last month would have been our 2 yr anniv. i never got to kiss you. i never got to feel your skin against mine. you keep telling me that you have never felt the same love for anyone as you did for me, that i treated you so well and that you were so happy. yet, here we are. i wish i could spit out a simple fuck you towards you but i dont think i even feel that way but fuck i do despise you. yet...what if i booked a flight to you? what if we made up and rediscovered the spark we had? fuck i don't know maybe this is just the hopeless romantic part of me but i cant help but feel stupid about you. would kissing you be all that bad of an idea?