i'm not really sad about the situation anymore what happened, happened. it was not a healthy mindset to think i can "change someone". they have to want to change just as much and i've accepted that i don't want to have to change him, but help him. i also don't necessarily want to "change" him. i want to love him exactly the way he is and watch him transform into the greatest, truest version of himself and maybe if he came to me saying he'll be a better person not only for me but for himself then i would still welcome him with open arms, but i don't think that's because of the influence he had on me, more because that's just the type of person i am.