From: ABC
To: Jordi
Date: January 10, 2021, 5:43 am
I both hate and love you. You make me so conflicted. I feel awful for small mistakes; hearing you sad makes me feel like dying. When you're happy I'm on cloud nine. I hate how it makes me feel, but I love that it makes you happy even if its for a little while. A small smile or hm in happiness brightens my day. I want to be in your arms. To be yours as something more as mushy as it sounds. But, I know if I ever love you it will always be one sided. Or by chance you ever love me, I would've given up. Because that's how luck works. And I still need to accept that I might be yours for a short time but not a long time. You will be the first person I would've ever truly loved but you will be my last. Because I don't want to go through pain and suffering again as I have with you. I know it'll hurt me and it will hurt like a bitch if I keep these feelings. But I can't stop loving you jordi. And for that I hate you for it. I hate that I love you.
Iris.