Unsent Messages

I let you have my most vulnerable self. All I wanted was your respect and for you to care about me the way I cared about you. For you to want to talk to me the way I wanted to talk to you. all. the. time. But when I brought up how You never talk to me your response was “what would we even talk about all day?” The truth is, You would only text me when you wanted something, and once you got what you wanted I wouldn’t hear from you for weeks. You see, I never wanted to be your hookup buddy. I just wanted to have a reason for you to be interested in me. I always felt the need to impress you and you always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, or that I needed to try harder to be better. The last time we spent together you came over and got what you craved, then left so quickly and didn’t say a word to me until I saw you at the store and you mumbled hi, but I could tell you didn’t want to. Now a couple weeks later I see you post pictures with her in your bed. even though you always told me you weren’t into her that way. Obviously I knew that was a lie, but I let you say it anyway. I guess you were scared I wouldn’t let you have what you wanted from me if I knew how you really felt. Or maybe you’re just a liar. I’d say maybe you were trying to protect my feelings, but let’s be honest. You don’t really care about how I feel. Tevin, I’ll never forget how small you make me feel. How insecure. How irrelevant. I’ll never forget how badly I had to try to be good enough for you so you’ll finally see me, just for you to turn around and choose her.