Unsent Messages

I just have so much to say to you but idk how. Ur my favorite person. My favourite notfification. But you keep leaving me on delivered to the point where I’m losing hope. I’m even on delivered now. I just want you to know that I do love you and I genuinely believe that we are soulmates. Do you remember how we instantly got along within the first week of sitting next to each other in English and geography having never spoken to each other before? I’ve been at the same school as you for 8 years yet for the first 6 our paths never crossed and then in the 7th year we were sat next to each other and everything just clicked. We instantly got on and we were both into each other immediately yet we were both too nervous to tell the other. But my best friend liked u so I had to let her have u cos she was going through a hard time. So u dated her after u got over me and dated her for 10 months. Within this time ud message me and meet me after school every week which is bad I know but I was still really into u but no one knew. Then u broke up at the start of lockdown. So throughout lockdown we were messaging more and getting closer and ended up meeting once a week for about 2 months after restrictions were lifted. Those were the best 2 months. I loved when I sat on the handle bars of ur bike and we screamed as we we through some bushes cos we thought we were gonna fall or when we were play fighting in a river and u lobbed me over ur shoulder and then threw me in the water. And the time when we snuck out at 4am to try watch the sunrise except we missed the sunrise cos we were too busy eating dried mango and finding a good place to sit. We said we were best friends but I always secretly thought we were more. After this I told u how I felt and u didn’t feel the same way. This crushed me but I understood and made peace with it but u were so nice ab it and we stayed close. Then we went back to school and we were in no classes with each other so we never talked in person but we still texted but we were definitely drifting. But then I realized one day a week we had a class with our classrooms next to each other at the end of the day so I started walking slower out of my class and u would catch up and then I’d go with u to music to get ur instrument. This still happens now every week and we just have a debrief and we also call every other night or so to catch up and rant about the people at school. I think I’m slowly losing feelings, at least I hope I am considering it’s been two years hahaha. I’m not gonna see u for 3 weeks now and u have me on delivered so I’m gonna take these holidays as a chance to really focus on work and family and not think ab u or text u unless something serious happens. I hope this works considering it’s been two years. My best friend doesn’t know that I liked u while U were dating her, no one does. People think I liked u back in July and that was it. But it’s been two years and idk if I can do it anymore because it’s killing me hearing u talk about these girls who are so much prettier and much better for u than I am. I don’t wanna distance myself because I can’t lose u as a friend u mean so much to me but I just really want to get over u. But then I remember ur smile. Ur hair. Ur humour. Ur laugh. And u were invited to this New Years thing with all these gorgeous popular girls that I wasn’t invited to and the thought of u getting with one of them kills me. I know u told me u don’t wanna go and ur gonna try get out of it but there’s still the possibility. I love you Leo. I always will. You’re the one person I don’t think I’ll ever truly get over. Even in many years when I don’t know u any more, u will hold a special place in my heart and I’ll be reminded of the BEST summer I’ve ever had with you. Thank you for everything. Ur a truly amazing person and I will never stop caring for u. Just don’t forget abt me okay?