Unsent Messages

hi mae. i know you’ll never see this but that’s ok. it’s just nice writing to you. i know we’re taking a break from our friendship but it feels like it’s the end of it all. i’m going to be honest. i have bad attachment issues. and i know i’ve never told you this, but uh, with the whole bpd thing with me, you were one of my favorite people. im sorry that i hurt you. i never meant that. i miss you more every day and i cry so much, i know i’m so sucky at showing emotions and stuff but it just hurts so bad. i literally just want to drink to forget all of this and keep hurting myself over and over and over. i feel like you’ve forgotten about me. i feel like you and them are already best friends, the duo i expected you both to be yet you both reassured me that would never happen. i got attached to you. i really did. i was always afraid to show affection because that’s why me and my ex best friend stopped being friends. are you done with me? i know it’s only been a week and two days, they said they would text me in a week or something. i don’t know. i just want the pain to go away. just want to be able to text you and all the long phone calls we would have. i miss you, dammit. i miss you. i told you to message me when you were ready to talk again, but i haven’t heard anything. i know you need space and everything, please don’t feel bad for it, but my abandonment issues are kicking in and thinking you’re done with me forever. i feel like you’re done with me. i just miss you. i miss you. i’m so sorry for everything. i’m sorry i suck at trusting people, i’m sorry i suck at showing i care. but i do care. i really do. please. just come back. i would text you, but i don’t want to upset you. you promised you wouldn’t leave me. you said this wasn’t the end of our friendship. please don’t forget about me. please don’t replace me. i’m scared. i’m scared shitless, okay? please. i miss you. i know i sound desperate and im sorry injust cant take this