Unsent Messages

I keep on writing these although I say I am down.
In reality you pop into my mind all the time, it isn't always bad.
I think about that room, we were always in that room together. I would do anything to see the led white light on my skin, and it reflecting in your eyes.I would do anything to see your shiny church shoes and soft smile. I want to stand by the closet and just look up at you and have no other care in the world other than caring for you. I don't think you knew, and know you'll probably never know. I cared for you fiercely, I felt this inner need to take care you, like if you were meant to be mine and I had to keep you safe. I want to be in that room, in our room I want to argue about the dumb things again, I want to steal a glance and watch you stealing one too. I want to have that feeling again, it was pure bliss. Now I feel coldness, and the only things that makes me feel is the memories of that room.
I miss you, I know you don't.