- [ ] Hey. I know it’s not my place anymore but I wanted to say hi. I wanted to call you. You don’t even know how many times I stared at your name in my recent call list. I almost clicked on it. I almost called you, call you to say how much I miss you. How much I miss driving you around. How much I miss looking across the room in class to see you smile at me and we both laugh at each other and my friends look at me weirdly to ask me why I’m smiling so much. How much I miss having someone to talk to about a cute dog I saw on any given day. How much I miss our stupid immature inside jokes. How much I miss waiting for you to walk out acting like you took forever when really I don’t care how long you took as long as I can spend time with you. How much I miss you distracting me and singing to me in the car which is so god awful it makes me laugh, but really I feel like the luckiest girl in the world each time you did. How much I miss the smell of you which has stayed on the hat you gave me, and I swear to god when I hold it at night and inhale the smell of your cologne on it I almost feel like you’re still in my arms. How much I wish I had held on longer to that last hug or the last kiss, which came sooner than I ever thought it would. I miss that feeling of the very first time you kissed me. I had to keep pinching myself because of how perfect it was. How everything just melted away. I wish I had time to plan for the day I lost you. I wish I had known that last Friday would be the last time. I wish you told me earlier that we would only have that amount of time together. I wish more than anything that I knew I would lose you even faster than I expected, and What hurts is how I secretly know deep down that when we both said “We’ll see each other someday in the future” it’s just to save ourselves the pain of truly admitting we will never see each other again. And I hope it’s okay that even though you said “don’t wait for me” I still do.