Unsent messages to NAN
From: ABC
To: Nan
You were doing so well. Everyone thought you were getting better. I hate my birthday because it reminds me of you. You're the only one to ever send me flowers. I still have the tag from them. I wish you were here, I wish you saw me in my prom dress, or celebrated my graduation with the rest of us. If I would have known that night at Panera would have been our last together, I would have made the most of it, but I did not, and for that, I am still so upset with myself. I think about you a lot, and I'll love you always. I hope you're proud of me. I miss you.
From: ABC
To: Nan
you know, your hugs may be the softest thing I've felt in a while. i wish i could hold you in my arms one last time. i never got to say goodbye. i knew you weren't the best person. the moment you decided to fix yourself it was too late. the alcohol had gotten to you. you were half disabled permanently, and there was no way out of it. i knew how ill you were. but your death was something i never expected. i miss you. and i wish I could've told you that before you went. you don't leave my mind. we still celebrate your birthdays. i hope you're doing alright.
From: ABC
To: Nan
i should have told you that i was struggling with my mental health. i shouldn't have lied to you. i miss your hugs so much. i miss you and i wish you could hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay.
From: ABC
To: Nan
I just wish I wasn't so young when you left me. I have very vague memories of you and mum and I just want to see you again.
From: ABC
To: Nan
you told me that you look through these sometimes so i wanted to write you something. im sorry. im sorry i make you feel excluded from things when we talk. im sorry i told everyone you liked me. im sorry i constantly make fun of you. im sorry i never take anything you say seriously. im sorry i rejected you the way i did. im sorry. i never tell you this but i really do love you and value you as a friend. you’ve genuinely made my life something worth now. i love you and i love your humor and i love the way u can make me feel better any time. i love u thud. snap me.
-the number before 8.
From: ABC
To: Nan
You've forever changed me in the worst way. I don't feel like I can be happy being myself anymore.
From: ABC
To: Nan
you really brighten up people's lives. your name and the "life energy"
really fits you.
From: ABC
To: Nan
I think about you every single day, I miss you beyond words. I love you so much. I wish I called.
