If you ever search up your name on here i’m sure you’ll see this. You have a funny name. I cannot help but think about what we used to have. It hurts me to think of how it went down. I wanted to tell you how I felt but I knew who it could hurt, and I just couldn’t risk it. I was honestly relieved when we got into that fight because it was just a lame excuse to stop talking with you. I was so afraid of hurting someone by loving you, I had rather lose you. It was foolish, but there is nothing I can do to change the past. It’s so strange to think how we dated in the sixth grade. When we broke up I remember i didn’t feel anything, I didn’t care. I don’t even know if I liked you back then, but as soon as last summer rolled around. I fell so hard. I thought I knew love before I really met you, before I got to know you, before I got to see what a beautiful person you really are. I still love you endlessly, and I understand now that neither of us were ready for a relationship. If you by some miracle see this, I just want you to know, you really don’t have to shower before and after the beach it’s just weird. Jokes aside, when we got in that fight I remember how you told me you didn’t want to be here anymore. I’m so sorry you couldn’t tell me before our argument, I’m so sorry I made it seem like I didn’t care about you. I truly do care about you, and so do many other people. I feel like that too sometimes, every time I go to that dark place I try to remember how much it would hurt other people. I know it seems like the easiest option to stop the pain is to leave this world, but what about all the people you would never meet, all the experiences you would never have, all the laughs you would never have. Please stay here for your Mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, your friends, your teachers, your future wife, your future kids, please you stay here for you. I don’t know how to fully put my love for you in words so i’m just gonna simply say, I love you. I hope you’re doing well, and maybe one day we could go night swimming again.
-If you read this I’m trusting you’d know who this is

why would you act like you wanted me when you wanted her the whole time?