It’s crazy how I planned the rest of my life with you in it. Every big accomplishment you were supposed to be there for. I was looking forward to you asking me on my very first date because you were too late being my first kiss and my first time but you somehow became my first love my first heartbeat, without even knowing it. I sit in my room and write down reasons on why I wasn’t good enough or why you just couldn’t be real. Turns out it wasn’t me it was you. You ran away from your feelings.... Or did you have any at all? Was is just pussy for you like I’ve been for everyone else. I don’t want to know the answer because I’m afraid that might break me more than the answer I gave myself. Do you know whenever I think about you I cry or destroy my bathroom? Guess you just have the effect on me.