Unsent messages to JASPER

I love you, and always will, im sorry it didnt happen the way we wanted it too, im happy we are still friends. x

i wish you didnt need other people to feel seen . you are all you need and i know its not your fault . i know your trying i love you .

you can't always mug me off and then lead me on and it affects me I thought u liked me but no ofc not you just laughed about me to my friends and if you don't like me for me then that's your loss and you missed a good bitch that would have treated you right

what are we doing ?? are we holding hands and laying on each other in a friendly way or more ? i would let you be my first kiss but i don’t want it to fuck up the friendship

i’m sorry. i loved you so much but my stupid fucking brain didn’t seem to get that. we were perfect. i miss you.

I really really love you, so so much. You make me so much more happier on days that I struggle. You do so much for me unknowingly. I love you. I can't fathom the fact that I'm letting you go. I can't say one bad thing about you and I'm so happy we're reconnecting. I want to be in love with you again. I really do. You're such a special person Jas and I was truly so in love with you. 10 months. 10 months I fawned over you. I adore every little thing about you. How funny you are and how kind and humble. You're a true blessing in my life. You are my first love, my first adoration and my call to wake up in the morning on days that I struggle with. I am completely and utterly in love you with you Jasper, maybe not in the same way as before. You really are my perfect person, but in the wrong time. I adore you, thank you for showing me what true unfiltered love is. Thank you for being what I needed and what I love. And I can't wait to stick with you for the rest of my time here. I love you. You're really my yellow

my first thought when I saw you was “fuck. I think I love him.” and it is, still even though you hate me, it’s hard to stop loving you.

I wanna be able to talk to you without being scared :)
I hate that we have had feelings for each other but it just can't work out :(

you finally got what you wanted. i didn’t realize till the end but there was only one thing you ever wanted from me and it was sex. i knew what you wanted from the beginning but part of me thought that i could be yours if i slept with you and the worst part is even though i knew this was going to happen it hurts

Jay i just want to say that our friends weren't the toxic ones. You were. Do you remember brushing me off when I talked about my eating disorder? Or talking trash about our friend cutting herself? I hate you so so much and I wish nothing but the worst for you now for how you hurt my friends

It may sound a little stupid but I still think about you and I miss you. I just wish that I was good enough for you to want to be with me.

I fucking loved you. “I gave you my heart but you broke that”. You used me for your pleasure and personal gain. You know I’m well known. You know I am gullible but that’s my own fault. I should never have don’t anything with you. I’m sorry

Lol I thought you were gonna be the one but here we are,I hope that you find your girl, hope you become successful and achieve everything you want/ed

I want you to see this, and for it to strike a chord, and you immediately know it’s me. I know that’s unlikely, but so we’re my chances of meeting you, and falling for you the way I have. you are so beautiful, in every sense of the word. I wish I could know for just a second what you are thinking when you think of me, I know a part of you maybe feels deeply for me, but how much? I would do anything to see you smile, you are a beautiful soul that mine is so lucky to have grown closer to. I just want you oh so badly, I don’t know if I could make it any more obvious. Please give me a sign.

i hate you. your mailbox is ugly and so are you. i hope you fall off a cliff and land in a sea of chickens and die

i wish there was a way to know if you and me have a chance. i want to tell you how i feel but what if it ruins everything?

i find myself holding onto you when i think i've let go. i've been hopelessly yours. for what seems like forever.

I miss you, you were the only person to show me what love really is, and I will forever wonder “what if my mental health never got in the way”